Am I in love, no... but realizing the importance of sharing this word with those in our lives that keep us moving. Family, friends, maybe a companion. Use it, express it... openly give back the feeling you receive from the ones you care deeply about.
My evening has given me an overwhelming amount of perspective. Starting with an amazing yoga practice with one of the instructors who really brought me into my practice. Just visiting the studio after moving away; everyone was there; familiar, smiling faces. Energy was high and flowing, finding equal and opposite efforts in effort and rest; pushing and letting go. I left feeling a complete balance of invigoration and clarity. I checked my phone, as I do too often and responded to a few texts and listened to a concerning voicemail from my mother. Wondering if I had done something to cause a lecture, I was hesitant to call back, but did. Her voice immediately gave a sense of forced strength told me to pull over and park my car. I did just that, and there it hit; "Your cousin Andy was killed today by a drunk driver".
Silence. My stomach began to turn and immediately crumbled; words couldn't come out... just gasps for air. All I could think to say was, I love you. I love you so much.
I come from a very traditional small town Minnesota family, and my cousin Andy was always one to not follow the "norm". Something we saw in each other and always held onto that connection. Although, our paths are very different we both share the drive to follow our passion. His path has always been jest-fully poked at in our family; ghost chaser to storm chaser. He was following his passion, and leaving his mark along the way. It was what moved him, his parents supported him and he made it. Google, "Andy Gabrielson" and you'll see he's known and admired for the purpose driven life he lived. Something most people never tap into as they stay safely behind their cubicles and 401ks.
At 24, Andy is no longer here due to someone's poor decision to drink and get behind the wheel. Anger, resentment, and blame are all worthless reactions. Instead, I'm happy to know at such a young age Andy was able to live his passion. For that, I hope to find an extra skip to my step to keep chasing my dream and hope to inspire others to do the same.
Another cousin reminded me something he had said at our Grandma Audrey's funeral, and that's, "I wish heaven was this far (a very young Andy's arm span); so that we can see and talk to her anytime".
I love you Andy Gabrielson, and thank you for never questioning and always supporting my restlessness. You will be truly missed, but never forgotten.
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