Today marks two months of living in California and it's taken that amount of time for the harsh reality to hit that not everything is going to be rainbows and butterflies; which is usually the bubble that I try to live in. It's quite nice, but a few days ago painted quite the scene as I was sitting on the side of railroad grade gasping for air and crying like a little girl with a skinned knee. This is when the realization hit that sometimes your bubble will burst.
Every person I meet asks me how I'm liking it here, what do I miss about Colorado, how do the places compare. I try so hard not to rant on and on about how great my life was in Vail. How I'd get up, go to yoga, make a stop at the Bookworm for a chai, do some work to barely pay my bills, get in a ride, cook dinner with friends and always run into familiar happy faces along the way. In all honestly, it's been like pulling teeth to get any similar kind of momentum going here. My feelings make me think about the people I'd come across in Vail who would go on about missing their shopping malls, fancy restaurants, fashion, culture, etc. Those are the conversations where my mind would wander to, "what adventure can I conjure up next?" and easily drift towards an assumption of their disrespect for the outdoors.
So here it is. I'm taking a moment to babble because I suppose that's healthy?
What are the differences. Well, for one there's like a million bajillion (yes that's a number) people all around. Granted, I'm in Marin which is much less condensed than San Francisco but, to me it's still packed. It's packed with people always in a hurry, and most of the time I'm not even sure they know what they're busy doing? Go go go...where are you going? This area is also filled with very successful people. The book definition of success. Money money money. Kind of like Vail money that come out to vacation in our high seasons. The ones that have worked for the man until they became the man and can start to live their lives at 45. That choice is fine...for them, but based on how I beat myself up now my body might not be able to handle this kind of activity when I'm 45 so I best keep it going when I'm young. :)
Another major difference is the definition of "the outdoors". I'll give it to the area, that for an urban setting the Bay Area/San Francisco really offers a LOT. A true outdoor experience; not so much, but it's close. Where it's close are all the illegal mountain bike trails. These trails are amazing, fun, challenging; the true birth of mountain biking. Having these trails illegal, leaves fire road and wider than village to village "single track"... or driving for a short loop of pretty fun singletrack built by boyscouts or state parks. Regardless, you're still in your car through traffic for at least 20-30 minutes before touching a good trail. Then there's always the three hour trek to Tahoe. This has made me miss having Berry Creek in my backyard. Yes, Vail people... NEVER take Berry Creek for granted, especially with the Surprise Valley extension. It's in YOUR BACKYARD, and DRY most of the year.
What else? The air. I really miss dry air. I miss the way my lungs burn on rides. Or the "race lung"... Now, it's my legs that are on fire. Which is every ride because no matter what you're going to have some sort of super steep climb to hammer yourself up.
Then there's the obvious; friends and family. I have to admit I'm very lucky to have met the people I have, but as I referenced before... everyone is busy. Busy busy busy... and they either live across a bridge or through a traffic jam. Which tends to end in solo bike rides, dinners, etc.
All in all... I never thought I'd be the one thinking people around me need to slow down. When in Vail I was on "go" mode from the moment I hopped out of bed until I came back to crash my head on the pillow. I'd like to think that even though I was always on the move, I still maintained a good sense of community; if someone needed me I feel like I was always there for them.
I'll find that all here too... it's just going to take time. We all need to complain a bit here and there, right? Now that I'm done with that....
Now for what I've gained. Opportunity. This is something that I was fighting for in Vail and it just wasn't happening. That's what's going to keep me here. I have a great job, and even if it's caused a bit of a "pause" button on racing; it'll be worth it. It may cause some upcoming races to be a little extra painful as I'm not necessarily feeling the most fit right now, but I'm sure there will be a lesson in that as it comes. Creating, growing, and supporting a women's cycling community is such a great opportunity. I try to never lose sight of that when days get a little lonely.
So, there it is... my bubble burst, I've complained, and now I'm done. Hope this wasn't too depressing of a post. Now, get out and enjoy your day!
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